I'm having a weird evening this evening. I feel like writing. Actually, I don't feel like writing as much as I feel like eating something, even though I am not hungry and don't need food right now. Actually, I don't feel like eating as much as I feel like talking to someone, but other than zinging chat messages to L. (who is busy with dinner and ( Read more... )

"It takes a lot of work to grow enough to tolerate intense intimacy and eroticism, and accept that life is both hard and sweet."
- David M. Schnarch, Ph.D Constructing the Sexual Crucible p. 173

Is there a set of necessary and sufficient conditions for deciding to engage in a sexual relationship? How do I know when that set of conditions is met?

I was rolling around the subject of my sexual ethics and I believe that I have obtained a better handle on identifying my moral premises on the topic:
Ethical statemeent: I will only engage in a ( Read more... )

Observation: It is difficult to write about the things which are extremely important in a timely fashion. Also, I have to change some privacy settings on some entries I have made here. I promised Laurel that I would do this, because she wants me to do so, but I have not attended to this yet. I feel guilty about this, but I have not put the time and ( Read more... )

When I told the therapist that I had been keeping a journal since 2 May 1978, she asked if I had re-read it. I told her that I had not looked at my old paper stuff, which encompasses everything from the start date, when I was in the eighth grade, to the time just before Crystal and I moved to California. She suggested that I try reading it. I felt ( Read more... )

My Internal DJ is mashing a couple of tunes this morning: Stone Temple Pilots: "Vasoline" and Fleetwood Mac: "Go Your Own Way." Musically, it doesn't work, I think, but I get from where it is coming. I am reading and thinking this morning and it is difficult to do those things without being reminded of my erstwhile correspondent. Yeah, well, it ( Read more... )

Fall is well underway now. The mornings have been chillier. Shannon likes it pretty darned cool, which is to say damned near cold in the house, so we haven't really run the furnace more than a couple of times this fall. It has dropped to 58° F in the house on a couple of mornings, and I've turned the furnace on a couple of times to warm the place ( Read more... )

Will you come see me Thursdays and Saturdays? What have you got to lose?

I got home early Thursday, October 8. I left work at a little after three PM. I had an appointment here in Livermore at 5. I went to go see a therapist. It was a twenty minute consultation to see if we would be "a good fit," a phrase which is, I am coming to suspect, a term of ( Read more... )